'I've been thrown out of better joints than this.'
The nurse turned to me and said
'Have you had a referral from the NHS?'
'Hurry up, this morning we are only allowing 3 minute appointments'
'Yes I realise I'm FAR too young to qualify (for a FRIGGING flu jab) ...
however, in view of my rather unusual and not very often seen, stone in my very nubile salivary gland, my doctor thought it prudent to inoculate me!'
'While I'm here please could you lance the boil on my bum?'